We Made It Home Safely!!

It has been a while since I've posted on this blog, and this is due to some major events taking place in our lives over here! We were never able to get to the mountains outside Almaty before we left, but this is a photo of the mountains which surround Almaty, and it was taken in Spring by a gentleman who traveled there. It is a beautiful sight, and you can get this view from the south side of the city.

After a 30-plus hour trip home, in which I paced up and down the 3 flights for about 9 1/2 hours with Sofia in my arms, we finally arrived in Los Angeles to find my husband, my 2 children, Grandparents Lawrence, and Auntie Amber. I was thin from not eating much, and was so exhausted that upon seeing them at the gate, I burst out crying and sobbed for a long time. It must have been the relief to know I was safe, at home, back in the USA, and with my loved ones. There is no better feeling!!

Sofia was exhausted as well, and all the commotion made her even more clingy. Mike, who had made progress at the Baby House in Rudny, and was able to play with her and even hold her about 3 1/2 weeks earlier, suddenly became the 'scary' guy to her. He tried to hold her, but she screamed. This, by the way, still stands. Mike can only hold her if I'm not in the house, or if she cannot hear me at all in another part of the house. The moment I walk into the room, I'm IT. Mike is bummed out, but he understands she has to adjust to another situation. To her this is overwhelming, and it's yet another change in her life. She spent about 3 months in a maternity hospital upon birth, then was moved to the Baby House for another 8 months, then lived with me in a hotel room for almost a month, went through a grueling 30-hour trip, and now has to adapt to a whole new house which contains many rooms. It's all scary to her, and it will take time.

It's been 2 weeks and she is finally feeling like she can walk around a bit more on her own, although she checks on me often to make sure I haven't left the room. Amazingly, she has been sleeping through the night since day 2 (for 12 hours each night!). It is a giant adjustment for the whole family to have a baby amongst us, but we are so happy she is with us and is part of our family! She is a happy, sweet, funny and smart little one! And she is very affectionate! One of the first things I had to do was to babyproof the house, and now gates are up everywhere, as well as toilet safety gadgets (which also seem to confuse adults quite often!), electric outlet protectors, and cushioned protectors to protect little heads from banging on table edges. Alex and Dominique adore their little sister, and can't get enough of her. We have had to train them to be gentle with her, though, because sometimes they think she is a toy. She adores them, squeals with delight when she sees them and loves to play!

Last weekend we celebrated her 1st birthday with some of our family. Grandparents Ebert were present, as well as Auntie Diane, and Uncles Russ, Chuck and Wayne. She received wonderful gifts. At the time of the Happy Birthday song and the candle blowing she was very fussy, but dared to touch the cake and put a bit in her mouth. Then she realized her fingers were sticky, and lost it. It was really funny to watch and it's such a girly thing to do!

We have put her on the swing and she loves that, but when she sat on the grass, both feet were up in the air, hands raised above the head and she screamed. The prickly feeling of the grass was not pleasant to her, and we realized that she had never been on grass before. Yesterday I placed her on the grass again, though, and she seemed fine with it, caressing it, and then pulling some out and playing with it. Same thing happened on the beach. She did not like the feel of the sand on her feet. We will try again some other time, and hopefully she will realize that it can also be fun to play in the sand and the beach. We are planning on going back this weekend, so more photos to follow soon!. . . .

I Am Grateful

This has been a long and arduous journey which started over three years ago, and which ends tomorrow. As I went through it, especially these last 6 weeks I have spent in Kazakhstan, I was reminded of how much in my life I'm grateful for and how little things can make a world of difference in someone's life. This experience has also taught me not to take so many things for granted. So, as I prepare to leave Almaty tomorrow, I've put a list together of the things for which I am grateful:

I'm grateful for . . . . . .

1. A smile. I did not receive many in this country, and it made me realize how one little teeny one can mean so much!

2. For the lessons I have learned in patience and flexibility, without which I would not have made it over here.

3. For little comforts such as high chairs, cribs, rocking chairs and a kitchen, none of which was available to me. I washed the baby's bottles in the bathroom sink twice a day, with the brown scalding water that came out of the pipes.

4. For a washer and a dryer, which would have made my life so much easier and prevented me from having to wash much of my clothing and Sofia's in the bathroom sink on a daily basis, to then hang them in an improvised line.

5. For cold drinks and ice -- when you get lukewarm coca-cola and water when it's 95 degrees out, it really doesn't quench your thirst!! And for treated water in America coming out of our pipes! Everyday I had to remember to buy mineral water to drink and brush teeth, and wash my face.

6. For window screens which keep bugs out. Here I found bees, giant horse flies, and beetles in my room, including my bed.

7. For air-conditioning, especially on days which are stifling and humid.

8. For a dark room to sleep in at night. For 40 nights while in Kostanai the sun shone every night until about 10 pm, and it didn't darken until about 11, only to have the skies lighten up again about 3:30 am. Hotels there haven't understood the importance of darkness for peaceful sleep, so their curtains are very sheer and of light color. It wasn't until last Friday, while in Almaty, that Sofia and I slept in a darker room and it was such a relief. It really rests the mind.

9. I am grateful that in America we have standards for smooth sidewalks, ramps for the handicapped, and steps which must follow a code. I have struggled immensely (especially with a sore foot) with uneven, bumpy, and crummy sidewalks; with steps which are completely uneven in height and width, and with stairs, which one finds everywhere you go. I have had to carry baby, stroller and groceries up and down steps countless times, every day, everywhere. Kazakhstan's handicapped and mothers with strollers definitely do not have a welcoming place in this part of the world!

10. For Mike, my husband. Without his perseverance, love and support, and intense heartfelt desire to make this work, I would have given up a long time ago. I am grateful for his hardworking skills, and for his ability to provide a great life for my family. And I am grateful for my children, who are the light of my life!!

11. For all the Lawrences, Eberts, Rey-Talleys, Amber and Diane, Judy, Donna Todd, Vovo and Uncle Jacques, Auntie Renee and Sophie, the Berumens and Ceruttis, and all our friends, acquaintances and extended family who have been there for us, in support and with your love. I am also especially grateful for all of you who continuously sent me email messages pushing me along and sending your love, and making me realize that I can do this, even when I didn't think I could.

12. For the other adoptive parents whom I've come in contact with in this country and who have in little ways made it easier for me: the Georges, who have been so supportive, for Sandy and her mom Helen, for Reid and Lori, and for Dessie and Scott.

13. I am grateful for Kazakhstan, for the way it struggles as it grows and survives in a tough world. I am especially grateful for allowing me to take one of its daughters home, and trusting me completely with her care.

14. I am grateful for Baha, our coordinator, who sacrificed her quality of life with her 4-year old twins and husband in Almaty to help us pursue our precious child, and organized our life for us in Kostanai. I am also grateful for Valentin, our translator, who is very smart, capable, and was so very patient with us, even when during a Sunday my boy had to be taken to the hospital and Valentin had to spend hours with us dealing with that. I pray that his dream of working as a chemist comes true. He just graduated from the Universiy of Kostanai with a degree in Chemistry, at 22 years of age. His work ethic is phenomenal, as he worked full time as a translator, studied full time, and took private lessons in English to perfect his language skills.

15. I am grateful for America, and for everything it stands for. For the opportunities we have, and the ability to do pretty much anything we want. I am grateful for the comfortable lives it provides us.

16. I am grateful for Sofia's mother, Olga (and all mothers who give up their children), who have allowed our family to grow. It's sad and ironic that her sadness and pain in giving up her child meant our happiness and fulfillment as we complete our family. As I looked through the Embassy papers last night, one of the pages included in the envelope was a one-page handwritten letter of relinquishment from Olga. As I looked at that letter, with tears streaming down my face, my soul could not comprehend the pain of giving up one's child. I pray that her heart is still and peaceful and that she senses that Sofia is well taken care of.

17. I am grateful for Director Brent Yoder and Joyce Thompson of Adoption Options, Inc., our adoption agency in San Diego, and for Frank Foundation, the affiliate. They are pros at what they do, and have been with us every step of the way in a supportive and caring manner. When we had issues in Kazakhstan which needed to be addressed ASAP, we were able to count on Brent and his staff 100% to have those issues addressed and taken care of.

We are also grateful for Director Ron Stoddard and Social Worker Rhonda Jarema of Nightlight Christian Adoption Agency of Fullerton, California. They worked so very hard with us in preparing our Homestudy, International Dossier, and everything in between and afterwards. These are all people who are caring and loving, and we appreciate them very much!!

Finally, I am grateful for my Heavenly Father. He has been there for me, and has kept me and Sofia safe. He has guided my steps in many different ways, has embraced me and Sofia lovingly, and has helped make this journey possible.

We did not go to the mountains today, because it is cold and rainy. Tomorrow morning we are off to Los Angeles, and here I sign off. I will post again once we are settled in.
Das SveeDahnYah for now!! Goodbye for now!!

One Final Step Before Our Trip Home

Kazakhstan has a rich history which predates to the days of the Silk Road. The Tienshan mountains which are located in the south and east part of the city of Almaty are stunning, and divide Kazakhstan from China. And it was through these Tienshan mountain ranges which camel caravans traveled to the west to trade their precious commodities of Chinese silk. The Silk Road refers to routes which crisscrossed Eurasia and carried the riches of people and traditions of Asia with those of Europe. The mountains around Almaty are actually the most picturesque parts of the Tienshan ranges, and nowadays one may find Kyrgyz and Kazakh nomads herding cattle, sheep and horses up there. They live in yurts (special round tent-like homes), and live off the land and their animals. Sandy and I are hoping that tomorrow, our last day in town, we can go to the mountains to take a peak.

Speaking of sight-seeing, yesterday I walked around with Sofia - who doesn't last much longer than 1 hour in the stroller - and ventured into streets I haven't been to while searching for the KLM Airlines office. I ran into a large, beautiful park, and in its center found a beautiful church. It was Panfilov Park in which the Zenkov Cathedral is located. I have seen this cathedral in Almaty websites and had the desire to see it. So voila!



It was built in 1904 by the architect Zenkov and it is all made of wood and connected with wood -- there are no iron nails anywhere. It is gorgeous and colorful and one of the few buildings remaining from the Tsar era. It is also one of the few buildings in Almaty to have survived the 1911 earthquake. As far as religions goes, Kazakhstan is about 44% Russian Orthodox and 47% Muslim. This cathedral is Russian Orthodox and after having been converted into a museum for many years, the city decided to return it to its original use.

Panfilov Park also contains the monument to the 28 soldiers from Almaty who died during WWII near Moscow and for whom the park is named. It is impressive in size and detail.

Today we had our visit with the Consul at the Embassy. Sandy and I went with all our extra documents, and were ready for anything. We were not nervous, but just didn't really know what to expect. All went well (and NONE of the extra documents we worried over getting back on time from Sacramento before our initial trip to K'stan were needed!!)!!. As we waited to be interviewed, there were about 7 or 8 adoptive parents in that room waiting for the final a-OK in order to leave the country with their children legally, and with the proper documentation. As I looked around the room at those parents' tired-looking faces and at their beautiful children, I was very proud of what we all had accomplished in order to give a child a life of stability, love, and many opportunities. It is no easy task, and it definitely takes determination, perseverance, endless flexibility and inner-strength to go through the whole process without giving up. Having been through this experience, I applaud all those who adopt internationally.

That being said, on Friday I take my flight home with our daughter Sofia, and we will leave the hotel at 3:30 am for a 7:15 am flight. I will be home in about 30 hours from the beginning of that trip. I will post once again tomorrow, and then not until I am home.

Meanwhile, Sofia says Good Night Alex, Dominique and Daddy, Grandparents and Judy, and cousins and Tia Mana, and Vovo and Uncle Jacques, and Auntie Diane and Amber, and all our friends and family!

Happy First Birthday, Sofia!!

Well, we have made it to Almaty, and insanity still hasn't set in, believe it or not!! We said good-bye to our friends who still have another 3 weeks in Kostanai, Lori and Reid and Baby Victor, took some photos of all three babies together, and then we got on the small, Soviet-era airplane for a very loooong 4-hour flight to Almaty. During the flight Sofia was cranky and tired and just wanted to be on the floor, so I paced up and down the small airplane for 2 1/2 hours with her in my arms. And all that time lifting her up above my head so she could touch the lights on the ceiling since the floor was filthy and wet, while the stewardess gave me dirty looks even though I was not in her way and never asked her for anything. As you can imagine my arms were jello by the time we landed, and I was exhausted. Sergey (our coordinator's husband) picked us up and we immediately went on an errand for the Embassy.

We checked into the Hotel Kazzhol at about 5pm and Sandy, Helen and I walked to the chidren's mall about 6 blocks away to buy Karina a stroller, and then it was off to the grocery store to buy baby food and baby needs. We believe that the grocery store's AC was broken, because it must have been in the 90s in there while we shopped. We couldn't believe it, and we were all sweating. Sofia and Karina were troopers, actually, until midway through the shopping and then both just lost it and screamed all the way back to the hotel! We were all exhausted, stressed, sweaty, disheveled, annoyed, and just so ready to be in our homes and into our beds!!

The Kazzhol Hotel is ok -- has AC, elevator, and receptionists who speak some English, and there are even high chairs at the cafe!! (Amazing how after being without, how little things like a high chair can make my day a better one!!) It's much like a Holiday Inn. We were very thankful to be out of Kostanai and in Almaty, but nobody slept that well on Friday night, and on Saturday morning Sergey was back to pick up the girls' birth certificates. Then we were finally able to relax a bit for a day and a half.

Yesterday, Sunday, Sofia turned the Big One, but she was too tired and cranky to celebrate, so this morning (Monday) while having breakfast I gave her a slice of cake and sang her happy birthday at the hotel cafe. She didn't really know what to do with that brown thing in front of her, so she did . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . NOTHING!! As I found out, The Countess is very picky about her cakes, and I guess I'll need to go 'lighter' with the color of the cake next time!! (Thanks Sandy and Helen for the adorable 'Sofia' bib, and the fun book, and thanks Lori and Reid for the colorful and fun doggie!)

After breakfast we were picked up by a Mrs. Lilly to be taken to the clinic to have the girls examined by a doctor who was western-trained. Both Karina and Sofia passed with flying colors!! Sofia was measured and weighed, and is on the 50% scale of the American chart for both. Her health is very good, and unlike what the original hospital chart says about her at birth, she does NOT have paralysis of the right side of the body! It is my understanding that Russian and Kazakh doctors are trained to believe birth is damaging to a child, so every child has some type of CNS damage or other. Well, both Karina and Sofia are absolutely healthy in all aspects.

Mrs. Lilly, by the way, is married to an engineer who makes $300 a month. She has two sons, Dmitri, a pilot, and Viktor, a neurosurgeon. The pilot makes less than $300 a month, and the neurosurgeon makes about $90 a month in a government-run hospital. The government believes that the people who are being treated are the ones who should pay!! How absurd is that when the people's average wages are about $250/month?? It is very sad. These young men, in their early thirties, cannot marry their fiancees because they can't afford to buy (or even rent!) a place to live. Then, if that weren't enough, today the dr. at the clinic told us his sad story. He has moved here from London to work at the clinic, and his family is still in London waiting for him to send for them. He, however, has yet to be paid anything. He has been here for 2 1/2 months, with no wages, and the Embassy will not process his paperwork quickly enough, so he can't even open a bank account. He is ready to pack his bags and go!! It truly is very sad what goes on in this country, and my heart goes out to the people who can barely make it over here!! I am reminded every day how blessed I am to be an American.

Tomorrow we have our appointment at the Embassy, and on Wednesday we go back to pick up the finalized paperwork, including Sofia's passport and all other documents. And Friday we are on our way to America. But of course, given my experience with the short flight from Kostanai to Almaty, I'm more than freaked out -- I'm dreading every moment of that journey home, which is an 8-hour flight to Amsterdam, another 9-hour flight to Detroit, and then another 5 hours to Los Angeles. I just hope that the antihistamine the dr. recommended works on Sofia and helps her to rest, otherwise I don't know how I'm going to make it back in one piece!!

By the way - and some of you already know this! - I loooove bows in little girls' heads. Dominique was unusual in that she allowed me to place bows, hair pins, clips, hats, or whatever on her head, without ever complaining and never taking anything off. So, we had to give it a try on Sofia, poor little thing!! And here it is, a whole 3 seconds of it! Just time enough to take a photo! Oh well, we will just have to keep on trying them on . . . .

We Leave Next Friday -- Yeah!!

Hi Alex, hi Ms. Barbara and kids at McDowell! Hello from Kostanai, Kazakhstan!! Thanks for checking our blog and our experience over here!

Thanks also to all of you who send good thoughts and prayers our way!! I feel them in my heart when things are really tough -- they help my spirit to lighten up, and I take a deep breath and move onward. Without your support and your nice notes it would be unbearable.

It's true -- we found out yesterday that we will leave Kostanai next Friday, and go to Almaty for a week for finalization of Sofia's passport, etc. And then - hopefully, and please keep your fingers crossed! - we will fly home on July 14th. We have started our countdown and there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Meanwhile, we just continue to hang out and play, and do what we do everyday. Naps and going to sleep at night are still problematic (tonight she screamed for 1 hour and 5 minutes before she went down!), but at least the clingyness is not so intense. And, Sofia has started enjoying her bath. The shower stall scared her before, but just in the last two days she started really enjoying the water and smiling in the shower. It took about 9 days! She still screams when I go in there and close the shower door in the mornings for the whole two minutes I'm in there, but at least she is able to let go of her fears when it's time for her bath. And in all likelihood, her fears probably come from the fact that I have to close the door when I'm in the shower, which makes me disappear. Poor little baby!

Everyday we walk around, and then at some point we park our stroller under a shady tree and stare at the pigeons that hang out in an area of the park. There is usually someone who brings bread crumbs, so there are dozens of these birds walking around and waiting for their 'snack'. Sofia is fascinated by them, and she talks to them often. Yesterday, as we were sitting and watching the birds, an older gentleman stopped by and started talking to Sofia. He had a Kazakh hat on him, which is very traditional and usually worn only by the older generations, and very calloused hands. I do not know for sure because my knowledge of Russian is less than basic, and barely enough to survive over here, but given the situation and how he was dressed, I assumed that he was Kazakh and was speaking the language. Sofia was enthralled by him, and kept staring. Once he turned to me and spoke directly to me about her, he then realized that I spoke neither the language nor did I understand him.

I then told him I was from America, and he just lit up. He proceeded to discuss at length something about flying to America and some experience which he or someone else he knows had over there. All in Kazakh! He sat down next to us on the bench and for about 15 minutes just spoke in his native language, as if I understood him completely. I smiled, and enjoyed the chatter, even without understanding any of it. He was probably just an older person who happened to be missing his four front teeth, lonely, anxiously looking to make some contact with someone, regardless of cultural, racial, gender or language differences. It's amazing how language is not always that important -- sometimes just a smile, and a few words in kind tones can make a difference in someone's day. He warmed up my heart and made my afternoon, and I hope I touched his day as well just by graciously sitting with him, listening to him, and letting him play with Sofia.






Well, here is Ms. Sofia already getting her bags ready for our trip next Friday. . .















. . . and wow, now that she is almost packed, she is definitely anxious to get going!! Aren't we both!!!











But, no, sorry . . . she is just too tired to go anywhere at the moment. Maybe after she takes a little nap and catches some ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ, OK? Good night!!