Another Emotional Day

Thanks to all of you for following this and for all your support -- Mike and I appreciate you from the bottom of our hearts. Yesterday was also another tough day!! Picking up Sofia at the Baby House was very difficult. We were allowed a tour of the facilities, such as the bedroom where they sleep (about 15 cribs), their play area, and their bathroom. The 2-month through 18-month olds share this space and then at 19- months go to the toddler area of the House until they are almost 5-years old, in which case they are moved to a Children's House.

After we toured the House, we changed Sofia into her clothes and left hers with the caregivers. Some of the caregivers were downstairs picking up Sandy's baby Karina (it was Sandy and Helen's last visit) and Lori and Reid's baby (they arrived recently and their baby's name is Victor), and at that point they realized that Sofia was leaving. They started crying and hugging her, and I cried with them and we hugged. It is their loss also. I thanked the House Director, Dr. Reema, and the House Doctor, as well as the caregivers for all their wonderful and loving care of our daughter. Dr. Reema was emotional as well. They really run a wonderful home in Rudnyi, and from the bottom of my heart I will always be grateful. Leaving was very difficult. . .

We took many photos, but I don't have the time right now to post as they may take at least a couple of hours to compress and upload. I promise I will do so in the next couple of days.

Meanwhile, it's been really hard on Sofia. She has been clingy, and has not allowed me to put her down. I understand; after all she is in a strange environment, and she hasn't seen the caregivers who have loved and taken care of her for almost a year. Yesterday she wouldn't even allow Mike or the kids to pick her up, and if I walked out of sight she screamed.

Today, Mike and Alex and Dominique left for Almaty at 7 am. It was a very emotional departure because I was already missing them. Plus I'm exhausted from holding Sofia all day yesterday and not sleeping enough. Her sleeping pattern is completely thrown off and I'm going to try to normalize it. The Baby House has given me a schedule of sorts including foods that she eats, and I'll try to follow it somewhat. Today was the same story as yesterday -- she would not allow me to put her down, not even for a second, and screamed and cried a very sad cry all day. I haven't taken a shower, my arms and Achilles are sore, and my foot is swollen. I have not had a chance to eat today (with the exception of breakfast), but will as soon as I post this.

I am, however, not concerned about me. My heart goes out to her, as she has experienced loss that only her small soul can comprehend. Her future will be bright, filled with love, and laden with opportunity. And this too shall pass, but for now my heart aches with hers . . . .